Russians and Pirates Don’t Mix

Russians are a hard people. They wrestle bears. Drink vodka like water. And sometimes, during periods of political rhetoric after drinking vodka and wrestling bears, they have an urge to take back Alaska and point a couple more missiles toward Europe.

Recent years have seen an increase in Somali pirate activity and Russia’s response bodes well with Steak Army. According to a Yahoo News article, Russian forces stormed one of their hijacked tankers off the coast of Somalia killing one pirate and capturing ten. But of course, one enemy KIA wasn’t good enough so Russian authorities supposedly let the remaining captives “go home.” Many speculate, however, that these captive pirates will never see Somalia again. We proceeded to dig up our dusty Russian to English dictionary and looked up several variations of “going home.” And yes, we agree. Those dudes are dead.

MOSCOW – The pirates seized by a Russian warship off the coast of Somalia have been released because of “imperfections” in international law, the Defense Ministry said Friday, a claim that sparked skepticism — and even suspicion the pirates might have been killed.

Defense Ministry spokesman Col. Alexei Kuznetsov brillian attitude toward the current situation escalated suspicions further…and made us chuckle.

Kuznetsov appeared to echo those concerns when asked why the pirates who seized the tanker were released.

“Why should we feed some pirates?” he asked. He did not give specifics of the pirates’ release, but the official news agency ITAR-Tass quoted a ministry source as saying they were “sent home,” unarmed and without navigational devices, in the small boats they had used to approach the tanker.

In honor of their response, I will be sending my ex “home” sometime this week.

Pretty much says it all....

Pretty much says it all....

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