Featured Stories
Death by Ketchup!!! Denise Milani:  Boobs Kate Beckinsale: She Megan Fox is Going Scarlett Johansson Olga Kurylenko: Russia, you I am fat, hear me roar!

Death by Ketchup!!!

Ketchup will kill us all! As I sat there tearing into an outstanding hunk of steak between two pieces of buttered bread, I thought about Ketchup. It’s not that I didn’t have any for my deliciously tremendous potato wedges that came with my meal. I actually had an ample supply. And in between taking bites […]

Denise Milani: Boobs…They’re What’s for Dinner.

We at Steak Army are fascinated with Denise Milani. We have dedicated an entire research team to the question of why average males turn into a whimpering fool when shown pictures of this outstanding female specimen. After countless hours of calculated, empirical experimentation that would make Harvard Medical School jealous, Steak Army finally has an […]

Kate Beckinsale: She’s English AND Hot

I first saw Kate Beckinsale in the movie “Underworld.”  She wore tight black leather and killed werewolves for a living by slicing their heads in half at the mouth. For three months after its release, I wore a werewolf costume at home hoping she would break down the door in all of her attractive glory. […]

Megan Fox is…Foxy

There was this movie called “Transformers.”  It stars the incredibly hot bodied Megan Fox.  I honeslty couldn’t tell you anything else about this damn movie except that it starred some other people and featured a yellow car at some point.  I’ve seen this flick three times and still have no clue what the plot is.  […]

Going “Commando”

I recently visited the local supermarket to pick up a few required ingredients for that night’s dinner. I normally bypass the produce section as my body is allergic to all fruits and vegetables. I am lucky to have a body that performs best when fueled purely with the flesh of animals. This particular market required […]

Scarlett Johansson …Yummy!

There are a lot of gorgeous women in Hollywood. But Scarlett has a fantastic girl next door look that will leave you speechless and naked on the corner because you blindly gave her everything you own. Yes I think she is that hot. Unfortunately she stars in the just released movie “The Spirit” which is […]

Olga Kurylenko: Russia, you’ve gone and done good.

Olga Kurylenko was in the movie “Hitman.” I instantly decided that a trip to Russia was in order based on the fantasy that every girl there was in some way from the same spectacular gene pool. Of course these plans fell to the wayside due to the economic turmoil that followed. These are the, “I’m […]

I am fat, hear me roar!

As I drove by the gym the other day, of which I am a proud member, I realized that this country is obsessed with being in shape. I also realized by the amount of fat walking on the sidewalk that we are also the most out of shape donkeys in the world. Now I say […]

Visa Black Card. You can’t have one!

05 January 2009

Who are they kidding? While the U.S. government is throwing money left and right to prevent one of the worst financial meltdowns since the great depression, Barclay’s Bank, in their infinite wisdom have premiered their new Visa Black Card. This new piece of high end plastic caters to the ultra-wealthy who have access to what […]

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Posted in Hysterical, Humorous, and All Around Funny....0 Comments

The Spirit: Your five year old nephew could make a better film.

31 December 2008

I recently took the plunge and saw “The Spirit.” This is another graphic novel translated to film by Frank Miller. Miller has had a good track record so far with “300”: It was immensely violent, the cinematography was absolutely stunning, and everyone yelled all the time. “The Spirit” had great potential to be another kick […]

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Posted in The Angry Rants of Discontent0 Comments

Hodads..check your manginas at the door.

29 December 2008

A good burger is one of those things that screams testosterone and this bitch screams testosterone while wielding a sword and clubbing baby seals to death. Here’s what Scott S. has to say. “All you naysayers need to give meat props where meat props are due, with cheese. If you’re looking for a tasty burger […]

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Posted in Man Rations3 Comments

Thailand. A vacation paradise with a “little” MMA mixed in.

27 December 2008

I am a huge fan of MMA. Mixed martial arts combines the best of several different fighting styles mashing them together to create a furious and bloody battle between two human beings. It is still composed of dedicated fighters who are pure and love what they do. It is what boxing used to be before […]

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Posted in Featured Videos, Hysterical, Humorous, and All Around Funny...., Modern Day Gladiatorial Combat2 Comments

The Oakland Raiders…more than just athletes.

27 December 2008

I found this heartwarming story while reading up on Alameda County. Nice work Raiders. Oakland, California: A seven-year-old boy was at the center of an Alameda County courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and […]

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Posted in Hysterical, Humorous, and All Around Funny...., Modern Day Gladiatorial Combat0 Comments

The only thing good about Christmas is basketball.

25 December 2008

Even if you are not a basketball fan the Christmas game is always a must see…especially this year. There are two games scheduled for this great day of empty bank accounts, broken dreams, and shattered credit histories. The one to watch, however, is the Championship Boston Celtics as they take to the streets of Los […]

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Posted in Modern Day Gladiatorial Combat0 Comments

If you suck at life, please don’t have kids.

24 December 2008

I was perusing the internet as I normally do after a large meal of meat and potatoes and I ran across this little gem of environmental philosophy. We as humans should discontinue procreating: not necessarily stop having sex but just stop having kids. I was extremely taken aback the first time I read this because […]

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Posted in The Angry Rants of Discontent0 Comments

Economic fallout with a side of credit crisis…Damn you doomsayers to hell!

23 December 2008

There is new speculation that the credit crisis the world’s banks are now experiencing may simply be overblown whining by the larger institutions that are having problems. According to Celent, a financial services consultancy that created the report this theory is based on, “governments are pumping masses of public money into the economy across the […]

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Posted in The Attempt to Pay for Food and Shelter while Drinking and Paying for Sex0 Comments