Featured Stories
Death by Ketchup!!! Denise Milani:  Boobs Kate Beckinsale: She Megan Fox is Going Scarlett Johansson Olga Kurylenko: Russia, you I am fat, hear me roar!

Death by Ketchup!!!

Ketchup will kill us all! As I sat there tearing into an outstanding hunk of steak between two pieces of buttered bread, I thought about Ketchup. It’s not that I didn’t have any for my deliciously tremendous potato wedges that came with my meal. I actually had an ample supply. And in between taking bites […]

Denise Milani: Boobs…They’re What’s for Dinner.

We at Steak Army are fascinated with Denise Milani. We have dedicated an entire research team to the question of why average males turn into a whimpering fool when shown pictures of this outstanding female specimen. After countless hours of calculated, empirical experimentation that would make Harvard Medical School jealous, Steak Army finally has an […]

Kate Beckinsale: She’s English AND Hot

I first saw Kate Beckinsale in the movie “Underworld.”  She wore tight black leather and killed werewolves for a living by slicing their heads in half at the mouth. For three months after its release, I wore a werewolf costume at home hoping she would break down the door in all of her attractive glory. […]

Megan Fox is…Foxy

There was this movie called “Transformers.”  It stars the incredibly hot bodied Megan Fox.  I honeslty couldn’t tell you anything else about this damn movie except that it starred some other people and featured a yellow car at some point.  I’ve seen this flick three times and still have no clue what the plot is.  […]

Going “Commando”

I recently visited the local supermarket to pick up a few required ingredients for that night’s dinner. I normally bypass the produce section as my body is allergic to all fruits and vegetables. I am lucky to have a body that performs best when fueled purely with the flesh of animals. This particular market required […]

Scarlett Johansson …Yummy!

There are a lot of gorgeous women in Hollywood. But Scarlett has a fantastic girl next door look that will leave you speechless and naked on the corner because you blindly gave her everything you own. Yes I think she is that hot. Unfortunately she stars in the just released movie “The Spirit” which is […]

Olga Kurylenko: Russia, you’ve gone and done good.

Olga Kurylenko was in the movie “Hitman.” I instantly decided that a trip to Russia was in order based on the fantasy that every girl there was in some way from the same spectacular gene pool. Of course these plans fell to the wayside due to the economic turmoil that followed. These are the, “I’m […]

I am fat, hear me roar!

As I drove by the gym the other day, of which I am a proud member, I realized that this country is obsessed with being in shape. I also realized by the amount of fat walking on the sidewalk that we are also the most out of shape donkeys in the world. Now I say […]

The Laugh That Could Kill

12 June 2009

This poor little man is the newest front man for the French Army. He represents the future of warfare as his laugh has been known to wipe out hordes of people within minutes of hearing that high pitch death knell. Of course none of this is true. He is not an operative for the French […]

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President Barack Obama: Where Does Thou Stand?

12 June 2009

A high percentage of the American mob that voted for President Obama feel that he is nothing less than Christ reborn. Like any politician, he made various promises and statements during his campaign to procure the necessary votes to win the Super Bowl of elections. Now that he is almost six months into his term, […]

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Posted in The Life and Times as a Citizen of this World1 Comment

Creepy is as Creepy Does

21 May 2009

This man gives me nightmares. I do feel a sense of regret because I’m sure he is a nice retired gentleman that has nothing better to do but create videos on You Tube. This Christopher Walken / Christopher Lloyd genetic hybrid, however, looks like the type of creature that would lure children into a blacked […]

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Your Magical Accidental Abortion

18 May 2009

I love this video from 5secondfilms.com. It is part hellspawn horror flick, part public service announcement warning against being a single mother. If you use contraception now, then you won’t have to worry about this horrific ideal later. …and yes I know the Google ads on this particular page are probably going to suck. The […]

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Posted in Featured Videos, Hysterical, Humorous, and All Around Funny....2 Comments

A Song About My Favorite Hobby

02 April 2009

Make sure to stay strong and power through the first minute of this parody. It is a well made piece of lyrical art that will make sure you are up to date with today’s terminology for “choking your chicken.” Feel free to “take your sausage hostage” afterwards. Just make sure to shut your drapes so […]

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Another Slutty Chicken Joke…

04 March 2009

A chicken farmer went to a local bar, sat next to a woman and ordered a glass of champagne. The woman perked up and said, “How about that? I just ordered a glass of champagne, too!” “What a coincidence?” the farmer said. “This is a special day for me. I am celebrating.” “This is a […]

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Big Brother Loves Facebook

03 March 2009

I am a paranoid individual. I shred my snail mail, use an IP address blocker, and never use condoms because of the possibility of nano-processors installed during manufacturing that can track my deviant sexual behavior. Social networking sites are no exception when it comes to big brother’s heavy hands and prying eyes. Put on your […]

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Miniguns: God’s Can Openers

02 March 2009

Not just a Mini Gun. But the Dillon Aero M-134D Minigun which is capable of firing over 3,000 rounds per minute at a maximum range of 1,100 yards. In addition to its awesome overwhelming firepower, it can be mounted inside an ordinary looking sport utility vehicle. You can easily head to the supermarket or pick […]

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Posted in Featured Videos, Stuff Men Buy0 Comments