Featured Stories
Death by Ketchup!!! Denise Milani: Boobs Kate Beckinsale: She Megan Fox is Going Scarlett Johansson Olga Kurylenko: Russia, you I am fat, hear me roar!
 

Death by Ketchup!!!

Ketchup will kill us all! As I sat there tearing into an outstanding hunk of steak between two pieces of buttered bread, I thought about Ketchup. It’s not that I didn’t have any for my deliciously tremendous potato wedges that came with my meal. I actually had an ample supply. And in between taking bites […]

Denise Milani: Boobs…They’re What’s for Dinner.

We at Steak Army are fascinated with Denise Milani. We have dedicated an entire research team to the question of why average males turn into a whimpering fool when shown pictures of this outstanding female specimen. After countless hours of calculated, empirical experimentation that would make Harvard Medical School jealous, Steak Army finally has an […]

Kate Beckinsale: She’s English AND Hot

I first saw Kate Beckinsale in the movie “Underworld.”  She wore tight black leather and killed werewolves for a living by slicing their heads in half at the mouth. For three months after its release, I wore a werewolf costume at home hoping she would break down the door in all of her attractive glory. […]

Megan Fox is…Foxy

There was this movie called “Transformers.”  It stars the incredibly hot bodied Megan Fox.  I honeslty couldn’t tell you anything else about this damn movie except that it starred some other people and featured a yellow car at some point.  I’ve seen this flick three times and still have no clue what the plot is.  […]

Going “Commando”

I recently visited the local supermarket to pick up a few required ingredients for that night’s dinner. I normally bypass the produce section as my body is allergic to all fruits and vegetables. I am lucky to have a body that performs best when fueled purely with the flesh of animals. This particular market required […]

Scarlett Johansson …Yummy!

There are a lot of gorgeous women in Hollywood. But Scarlett has a fantastic girl next door look that will leave you speechless and naked on the corner because you blindly gave her everything you own. Yes I think she is that hot. Unfortunately she stars in the just released movie “The Spirit” which is […]

Olga Kurylenko: Russia, you’ve gone and done good.

Olga Kurylenko was in the movie “Hitman.” I instantly decided that a trip to Russia was in order based on the fantasy that every girl there was in some way from the same spectacular gene pool. Of course these plans fell to the wayside due to the economic turmoil that followed. These are the, “I’m […]

I am fat, hear me roar!

As I drove by the gym the other day, of which I am a proud member, I realized that this country is obsessed with being in shape. I also realized by the amount of fat walking on the sidewalk that we are also the most out of shape donkeys in the world. Now I say […]

Hot For Teacher!

09 December 2009

Damn!   Why didn’t he just stay and watch?  To understand the full senseless action this janitor took upon himself you need to read the full article.

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France vs. Ireland: War!!!

10 November 2009

This is an oldie but goodie that gives the French a good kick in the balls. I could have saved this for St. Patty’s day in March but I felt like insulting France right now. Jacques Chirac, the French Prime Minister, was sitting in his office wondering what kind of mischief he could perpetrate when […]

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Your Son Is Dead So China Can Mine Copper…

01 November 2009

According to the Associated Press, China has trumped U.S. competitors and gained a foothold in Afghanistan economically by winning a bid for one of the largest untapped copper mines in the world. The potential price tag on this complete mockery of a situation: 3 Billion dollars. While U.S. Soldiers and Marines, Canadian Snipers, British Royal […]

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I Threw My Niece on the Ground!!!

24 October 2009

This new skit from Saturday Night Live really reaches out to those of us that have immense rage. The kind of rage that results in busted cell phones, wrecked household appliances, and a multitude of shattered bones and bodyparts. Even if you don’t suffer from anger management issues, this song will create a body slamming […]

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Brooke Burke…I Love You!

07 October 2009

This brunette cutie was first seen on E’s Wild On! series which took us on a major booze tour of the world’s best places to party your guts and go blind. Expectantly, the show made half the country green with envy with hopes of someday getting away from their nagging significant other as they watched […]

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Posted in Girls That Make My Penis Cry0 Comments

Hillbillies Get Owned!!!

01 September 2009

This video posted back in 2006 is a classic case of not taking sh*t from anyone. It is a somewhat long video but well worth the ending. If you really can’t wait skip to 4:20 (you read that right) and enjoy some good ol’ fashioned bully humiliation.

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Bianca Gascoigne… Another Win for the Brits!

01 July 2009

This English beauty has been featured in both Maxim and FHM. As we all know, these two magazines are known for their choice selection of busty, buxom women. Bianca Gascoigne is no exception to the high standard of these

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Racism is soooo 1960’s…

15 June 2009

Redhouse Furniture in the middle of “I don’t care where” takes racism by the horns and makes it damn funny. Check out the video and go buy a sofa from “big head” and have him pump some furniture into your home.

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