Featured Stories
Death by Ketchup!!! Denise Milani:  Boobs Kate Beckinsale: She Megan Fox is Going Scarlett Johansson Olga Kurylenko: Russia, you I am fat, hear me roar!

Death by Ketchup!!!

Ketchup will kill us all! As I sat there tearing into an outstanding hunk of steak between two pieces of buttered bread, I thought about Ketchup. It’s not that I didn’t have any for my deliciously tremendous potato wedges that came with my meal. I actually had an ample supply. And in between taking bites […]

Denise Milani: Boobs…They’re What’s for Dinner.

We at Steak Army are fascinated with Denise Milani. We have dedicated an entire research team to the question of why average males turn into a whimpering fool when shown pictures of this outstanding female specimen. After countless hours of calculated, empirical experimentation that would make Harvard Medical School jealous, Steak Army finally has an […]

Kate Beckinsale: She’s English AND Hot

I first saw Kate Beckinsale in the movie “Underworld.”  She wore tight black leather and killed werewolves for a living by slicing their heads in half at the mouth. For three months after its release, I wore a werewolf costume at home hoping she would break down the door in all of her attractive glory. […]

Megan Fox is…Foxy

There was this movie called “Transformers.”  It stars the incredibly hot bodied Megan Fox.  I honeslty couldn’t tell you anything else about this damn movie except that it starred some other people and featured a yellow car at some point.  I’ve seen this flick three times and still have no clue what the plot is.  […]

Going “Commando”

I recently visited the local supermarket to pick up a few required ingredients for that night’s dinner. I normally bypass the produce section as my body is allergic to all fruits and vegetables. I am lucky to have a body that performs best when fueled purely with the flesh of animals. This particular market required […]

Scarlett Johansson …Yummy!

There are a lot of gorgeous women in Hollywood. But Scarlett has a fantastic girl next door look that will leave you speechless and naked on the corner because you blindly gave her everything you own. Yes I think she is that hot. Unfortunately she stars in the just released movie “The Spirit” which is […]

Olga Kurylenko: Russia, you’ve gone and done good.

Olga Kurylenko was in the movie “Hitman.” I instantly decided that a trip to Russia was in order based on the fantasy that every girl there was in some way from the same spectacular gene pool. Of course these plans fell to the wayside due to the economic turmoil that followed. These are the, “I’m […]

I am fat, hear me roar!

As I drove by the gym the other day, of which I am a proud member, I realized that this country is obsessed with being in shape. I also realized by the amount of fat walking on the sidewalk that we are also the most out of shape donkeys in the world. Now I say […]

Power Thirst: Part 1 Arrrrgggghhhhh!

31 January 2010

This video is incredible. Yes, we know it’s been out for a while now and has over 21,000,000 views.  F$%@ you for saying so. It still makes me want to go out and shoot guns, barbecue, step on kittens, and do all sorts of other testosterone filled activities. Rock on, Powerthirst!

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Posted in Featured Videos, Man Rations0 Comments

Recipe for a Better Tomorrow

31 January 2010

Take one part Justin Bieber, one part Jonas Brothers, and the entire cast from TMZ. Mix vigorously and place in an ordinary school bus. Lock this yellow vehicle full of mediocrity, douse in kerosene, and set ablaze in a similar fashion to bananas foster. In a dramatic move against non talented ass clowns,

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Posted in The Angry Rants of Discontent0 Comments

First Ever Tactical Beer

15 January 2010

We at Steak Army are very fond of the nutritious elements found in beer: barley, hops, and all sorts of uh…fiber… and other things that I can’t really think of because I’m already drunk. In all reality, we just love beer because it makes the chunky chick next door look like a god damn supermodel. […]

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Posted in Man Rations, Stuff Men Buy0 Comments

Twilight Moms

12 December 2009

I hate to break the news to all the “Twilight” loving moms out there, but 40 is not the new 14. Whatever happened to acting your age and setting a good example for your children.  For great commentary just visit the following link to Reddit.com and read what other “Twilight” haters have to say….

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Posted in Hysterical, Humorous, and All Around Funny....0 Comments

Federal Salaries…WTF?

11 December 2009

I had know idea you could make this kind of cash working for Uncle Sam. The number of federal workers earning six-figure salaries has exploded during the recession, according to a USA TODAY analysis of federal salary data. Federal employees making salaries of $100,000 or more jumped from 14% to 19% of civil servants during […]

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Posted in The Attempt to Pay for Food and Shelter while Drinking and Paying for Sex0 Comments

The Van of Poop

11 December 2009

Presenting the most awesome work van ever. Happy Weekend, Bitches…

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Posted in Hysterical, Humorous, and All Around Funny....0 Comments

You Fail

11 December 2009

Do your parents constantly hound you on how much of a failure you have become?  Send them our way and show them what being a failure is truly about.

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Posted in Hysterical, Humorous, and All Around Funny....0 Comments

The Wisdom of Thomas Jefferson

10 December 2009

Besides banging hot slave tail, Jefferson is the proud owner of some interesting and quite knowledgeable quotes for his time. Thomas Jefferson’ quotes (April 13, 1743 – July 4, 1826): “If the people ever allow private banks to control the issuance of their currency, first by inflation and then by deflation, the banks and corporations […]

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Posted in The Life and Times as a Citizen of this World0 Comments