Featured Stories
Death by Ketchup!!! Denise Milani:  Boobs Kate Beckinsale: She Megan Fox is Going Scarlett Johansson Olga Kurylenko: Russia, you I am fat, hear me roar!

Death by Ketchup!!!

Ketchup will kill us all! As I sat there tearing into an outstanding hunk of steak between two pieces of buttered bread, I thought about Ketchup. It’s not that I didn’t have any for my deliciously tremendous potato wedges that came with my meal. I actually had an ample supply. And in between taking bites […]

Denise Milani: Boobs…They’re What’s for Dinner.

We at Steak Army are fascinated with Denise Milani. We have dedicated an entire research team to the question of why average males turn into a whimpering fool when shown pictures of this outstanding female specimen. After countless hours of calculated, empirical experimentation that would make Harvard Medical School jealous, Steak Army finally has an […]

Kate Beckinsale: She’s English AND Hot

I first saw Kate Beckinsale in the movie “Underworld.”  She wore tight black leather and killed werewolves for a living by slicing their heads in half at the mouth. For three months after its release, I wore a werewolf costume at home hoping she would break down the door in all of her attractive glory. […]

Megan Fox is…Foxy

There was this movie called “Transformers.”  It stars the incredibly hot bodied Megan Fox.  I honeslty couldn’t tell you anything else about this damn movie except that it starred some other people and featured a yellow car at some point.  I’ve seen this flick three times and still have no clue what the plot is.  […]

Going “Commando”

I recently visited the local supermarket to pick up a few required ingredients for that night’s dinner. I normally bypass the produce section as my body is allergic to all fruits and vegetables. I am lucky to have a body that performs best when fueled purely with the flesh of animals. This particular market required […]

Scarlett Johansson …Yummy!

There are a lot of gorgeous women in Hollywood. But Scarlett has a fantastic girl next door look that will leave you speechless and naked on the corner because you blindly gave her everything you own. Yes I think she is that hot. Unfortunately she stars in the just released movie “The Spirit” which is […]

Olga Kurylenko: Russia, you’ve gone and done good.

Olga Kurylenko was in the movie “Hitman.” I instantly decided that a trip to Russia was in order based on the fantasy that every girl there was in some way from the same spectacular gene pool. Of course these plans fell to the wayside due to the economic turmoil that followed. These are the, “I’m […]

I am fat, hear me roar!

As I drove by the gym the other day, of which I am a proud member, I realized that this country is obsessed with being in shape. I also realized by the amount of fat walking on the sidewalk that we are also the most out of shape donkeys in the world. Now I say […]

And God Created Boobs… Delicious, Lucious Boobs

07 November 2008

So my friend sent me this picture the other day. He really was having a hard time because his Catholic upbringing nagged at him not to look. Meanwhile, the man in him wanted to touch his pee pee with the fervor of a

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Barack Obama wants his own security force?

05 November 2008

I’ll be honest. Politicians scare me. You can never really know who they are and what they are like. It’s not like you can go to their house and have a beer and watch some porn. But sometimes there is that rare moment when their true personality slips out in a fit of excitement. Mr. […]

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One of the coolest white guys I have ever seen

03 November 2008

His name is Dirt Nasty and he is awesome. He raps about cocaine and hot Latina girls. What’s there not to like and admire! Oh….And one of his songs is about having a baby dick. I’m not a big fan of this particular song because it reminds me of the truth and the truth makes […]

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Shooting…the girls can’t drive either!

01 November 2008

So I recently went to the shooting range. What better way to relieve pent up stress than destroying paper targets with hot lead traveling at high velocities? Some people like to imagine that the target represents their wife, boss, or some other negative aspect of their life. I personally like to shoot at the unholy […]

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