Featured Stories
Death by Ketchup!!! Denise Milani:  Boobs Kate Beckinsale: She Megan Fox is Going Scarlett Johansson Olga Kurylenko: Russia, you I am fat, hear me roar!

Death by Ketchup!!!

Ketchup will kill us all! As I sat there tearing into an outstanding hunk of steak between two pieces of buttered bread, I thought about Ketchup. It’s not that I didn’t have any for my deliciously tremendous potato wedges that came with my meal. I actually had an ample supply. And in between taking bites […]

Denise Milani: Boobs…They’re What’s for Dinner.

We at Steak Army are fascinated with Denise Milani. We have dedicated an entire research team to the question of why average males turn into a whimpering fool when shown pictures of this outstanding female specimen. After countless hours of calculated, empirical experimentation that would make Harvard Medical School jealous, Steak Army finally has an […]

Kate Beckinsale: She’s English AND Hot

I first saw Kate Beckinsale in the movie “Underworld.”  She wore tight black leather and killed werewolves for a living by slicing their heads in half at the mouth. For three months after its release, I wore a werewolf costume at home hoping she would break down the door in all of her attractive glory. […]

Megan Fox is…Foxy

There was this movie called “Transformers.”  It stars the incredibly hot bodied Megan Fox.  I honeslty couldn’t tell you anything else about this damn movie except that it starred some other people and featured a yellow car at some point.  I’ve seen this flick three times and still have no clue what the plot is.  […]

Going “Commando”

I recently visited the local supermarket to pick up a few required ingredients for that night’s dinner. I normally bypass the produce section as my body is allergic to all fruits and vegetables. I am lucky to have a body that performs best when fueled purely with the flesh of animals. This particular market required […]

Scarlett Johansson …Yummy!

There are a lot of gorgeous women in Hollywood. But Scarlett has a fantastic girl next door look that will leave you speechless and naked on the corner because you blindly gave her everything you own. Yes I think she is that hot. Unfortunately she stars in the just released movie “The Spirit” which is […]

Olga Kurylenko: Russia, you’ve gone and done good.

Olga Kurylenko was in the movie “Hitman.” I instantly decided that a trip to Russia was in order based on the fantasy that every girl there was in some way from the same spectacular gene pool. Of course these plans fell to the wayside due to the economic turmoil that followed. These are the, “I’m […]

I am fat, hear me roar!

As I drove by the gym the other day, of which I am a proud member, I realized that this country is obsessed with being in shape. I also realized by the amount of fat walking on the sidewalk that we are also the most out of shape donkeys in the world. Now I say […]

What they don’t tell you about hangovers.

25 November 2008

A friend and I recently took the opportunity to do some old fashioned boozing. Now, I am no longer college age which means that everything take longer to heal. Your head seems to hurt more and your kidneys ache just a little bit longer. In college, a man can drink six days in a row, […]

Read the full story

Posted in Manhood0 Comments

Bruce Lee’s new career path: Ping Pong!

24 November 2008

This is the coolest ping pong related piece of screen real estate since Christopher Walken set foot on the set of “Balls of Fury.”  Watch the video below for a sense of complete awesomeness.

Read the full story

Posted in Featured Videos, Hysterical, Humorous, and All Around Funny....0 Comments

Happy Hour is now Sad Hour :(

23 November 2008

Some breaking news from our neighbors overseas: lawmakers in Britain are now considering banning any sort of reduced pricing on alcoholic beverage during certain time periods. They want to get rid of “Happy Hour” because of the amount of alcohol related deaths and overall bad stuff that happens to your liver when binge drinking. What […]

Read the full story

Posted in The Life and Times as a Citizen of this World0 Comments

You scared the…..oh great I shit myself!

21 November 2008

There are a host of shows out there across the world that like to scare the holy bejeezus out of people. The have a show here in the U.S. but it really doesn’t compare to the sadistic pranks other nations come up with. You can’t really argue with the premise. It really is just too […]

Read the full story

Posted in Featured Videos, Hysterical, Humorous, and All Around Funny....0 Comments

The Japanese – Perversion or Genius?

17 November 2008

The Japanese are a phenomenal people. They are an economic powerhouse filled with honor, achievement, and the way of the samurai. And deep down they like to watch women eat shit with a fork and knife while producing some of the best rape** videos on the internet. Their newest gadget that costs a measly $30.00 […]

Read the full story

Posted in Featured Videos, Hysterical, Humorous, and All Around Funny....0 Comments

American Idol, Poo on You!

14 November 2008

Now this video makes me feel a lot of things. 1. I am paying good money when I have kids to make sure they pop out of my significant other’s vagina as testosterone filled men. Yes I said men. They will not slide out as infants but as eighteen year old ogres ready to do […]

Read the full story

Posted in Featured Videos, Hysterical, Humorous, and All Around Funny....0 Comments

How to Ruin a Nerd’s Day

10 November 2008

Nerds come in many flavors. It is a lifestyle choice that people make. However, I don’t believe they should be allowed to marry. There are role-playing nerds from the days of Dungeons and Dragons, computer geeks, and drama club dweebs. One of the most common these days is the World of Warcraft, I don’t have […]

Read the full story

Posted in Featured Videos, Hysterical, Humorous, and All Around Funny....0 Comments

Girls we want picking up guns!

10 November 2008

So recently we did an expose on the female species and their lack of shooting ability. Today, we give tribute to those women who fit the necessary requirement to shoot a lethal weapon: busty, wearing a bikini, and under 130 lbs. Enjoy the Vid….

Read the full story

Posted in Featured Videos, Girls That Make My Penis Cry0 Comments