Categorized | Man Rations, Stuff Men Buy

First Ever Tactical Beer

We at Steak Army are very fond of the nutritious elements found in beer: barley, hops, and all sorts of uh…fiber… and other things that I can’t really think of because I’m already drunk. In all reality, we just love beer because it makes the chunky chick next door look like a god damn supermodel. Unfortunately, your basic Budweiser or Natural Ice won’t stand a chance in hell at making the disgustingly obese German girl at the bar look remotely close to normal.

The good folks at Brew Dog Brewery have come to our rescue by developing a beer that defeats the average 5-6% alcohol content by a long stretch. Their concoction, cleverly dubbed “Tactical Nuclear Penguin” contains a whopping 32% alcohol level. We have no clue how this tastes nor do we really care.****  We just think this is the coolest thing since guns and thong bikinis.

Drunk Penguins make great wingmen!

Drunk penguins make great wingmen!

****We actually do care how this tastes. However, we neglected to tell our taste tester the alcohol percentage on this particular brand of tasty goodness.  He is currently missing.  The only remaining items in our exclusive taste testing room were a pair of boxers and some old photos of Bea Arthur.  For those that knew Tim, we did mention it to the police.  So no worries there.

On another note, we are now hiring taste testers. Please use the contact us form to apply.

Leave a Reply