Chimps = Undercover Muscle

There have been some very notable media capturing events concerning our younger brothers on the evolutionary scale. Most notably, a roving gang of chimpanzees ripped off a man’s testicles while at the zoo. Soon after, a female had her face removed by her adopted son who happened to be a chimp. What is the reoccurring theme of all of these events? Chimps will fuck you up.

When most people think of primates, it is either the largest extant species of primates, the Gorilla, or the cute ones (official scientific term) seen in whatever comedy is showing at the local cinema. Even low to average IQ individuals will stay away from Gorillas. They exude bad assness and can beat you into submission at will. The cute ones, however, include the loveable types of furry creatures that sit around in diapers all day, eat bananas, and act like innocent three year old orphans. People love the furry cute ones.

Then the great internet delivered this image of a hairless chimpanzee. From this moment on, I will never underestimate this species of animal. They are all muscle and have huge balls to boot. The next time someone you know decides to bother, irritate, harass, or seduce one of these natural born bringers of death, due them a favor and show them what is pictured here.

Careful...he does P90X.

Careful...he does P90X.

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