Author Archives | Meat Machine

Dude….where’s my manhood?

This is one of those videos where I desperately try to empathize with the authors. Why? Because it so goddamn embarrassing and I am in a fit of horror that anyone would do such a pathetic thing. Okay…so I was fifteen once. Maybe I practiced certain sexual maneuvers in the mirror. Maybe I had some […]

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Posted in Featured Videos, Hysterical, Humorous, and All Around Funny....2 Comments

President Bush attacked by shoes of mass destruction!

The President of the United States and his family take a lot of abuse from the people. They are constantly under the scrutiny of educated citizens while congress tries to finagle whatever they can out of their beloved leader. Talk show hosts lay into them with fervor hoping to boost rating by some funny but […]

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Posted in Featured Videos, The Life and Times as a Citizen of this World1 Comment

I am fat, hear me roar!

As I drove by the gym the other day, of which I am a proud member, I realized that this country is obsessed with being in shape. I also realized by the amount of fat walking on the sidewalk that we are also the most out of shape donkeys in the world. Now I say […]

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Posted in Featured Posts, Hysterical, Humorous, and All Around Funny...., Manhood1 Comment

Reanimation!

In the current issue of Esquire, the scientific method of “Gorking” has reached clinical trial stages. “Gorking” is what, you ask? Is this another trendy sexual position that I can perform on the next unlucky lady you meet a la the “pile driver” or a “Rwandan Rodeo?” Unfortunately it’s not….unless killing the girl and then […]

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Posted in The Life and Times as a Citizen of this World0 Comments

Anarchists, prepare to have your balls squashed.

Apparently the U.S. government is expecting something very bad to happen by the year 2011. And because the government is expecting something bad to happen, I’m expecting something bad to happen. Because I am now broke from countless nights of strip clubs and coke whoring, I am in a state of denial. After trying to […]

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Posted in The Life and Times as a Citizen of this World0 Comments

Hammering small sticks of dynamite just feels so…right.

I don’t have the words to explain this.  Just watch the video below!

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Posted in Featured Videos, Hysterical, Humorous, and All Around Funny....1 Comment

Men vs. Women: I love double standards.

I got this little story in my inbox the other day. It really is heartwarming and makes you feel glad to be a man. ———————————————————————— This morning I received a phone call from a gorgeous ex-girlfriend who called ‘out-of-the-blue’ to see if I was still around. We lost track of time, chatting about the wild, […]

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Posted in Hysterical, Humorous, and All Around Funny....0 Comments

Why do I hear 70’s porn music???

Having my own personal soundtrack has always been a nerdy fantasy of mine. At last I can train to the theme of rocky, browse for clothing with an upbeat jingle, and then pound bearded clam to some old school Motley Crue. This geeky creation lets you do it all via a glory emanating speaker placed […]

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Posted in Stuff Men Buy0 Comments