This is one of those videos where I desperately try to empathize with the authors. Why? Because it so goddamn embarrassing and I am in a fit of horror that anyone would do such a pathetic thing. Okay…so I was fifteen once. Maybe I practiced certain sexual maneuvers in the mirror. Maybe I had some […]
Author Archives | Meat Machine
Dude….where’s my manhood?
Posted on 16 December 2008.
Posted in Featured Videos, Hysterical, Humorous, and All Around Funny....2 Comments
President Bush attacked by shoes of mass destruction!
Posted on 14 December 2008.
The President of the United States and his family take a lot of abuse from the people. They are constantly under the scrutiny of educated citizens while congress tries to finagle whatever they can out of their beloved leader. Talk show hosts lay into them with fervor hoping to boost rating by some funny but […]
Posted in Featured Videos, The Life and Times as a Citizen of this World1 Comment
I am fat, hear me roar!
Posted on 14 December 2008.
As I drove by the gym the other day, of which I am a proud member, I realized that this country is obsessed with being in shape. I also realized by the amount of fat walking on the sidewalk that we are also the most out of shape donkeys in the world. Now I say […]
Posted in Featured Posts, Hysterical, Humorous, and All Around Funny...., Manhood1 Comment
Reanimation!
Posted on 12 December 2008.
In the current issue of Esquire, the scientific method of “Gorking” has reached clinical trial stages. “Gorking” is what, you ask? Is this another trendy sexual position that I can perform on the next unlucky lady you meet a la the “pile driver” or a “Rwandan Rodeo?” Unfortunately it’s not….unless killing the girl and then […]
Posted in The Life and Times as a Citizen of this World0 Comments
Anarchists, prepare to have your balls squashed.
Posted on 12 December 2008.
Apparently the U.S. government is expecting something very bad to happen by the year 2011. And because the government is expecting something bad to happen, I’m expecting something bad to happen. Because I am now broke from countless nights of strip clubs and coke whoring, I am in a state of denial. After trying to […]
Posted in The Life and Times as a Citizen of this World0 Comments
Hammering small sticks of dynamite just feels so…right.
Posted on 12 December 2008.
I don’t have the words to explain this. Just watch the video below!
Posted in Featured Videos, Hysterical, Humorous, and All Around Funny....1 Comment
Men vs. Women: I love double standards.
Posted on 04 December 2008.
I got this little story in my inbox the other day. It really is heartwarming and makes you feel glad to be a man. ———————————————————————— This morning I received a phone call from a gorgeous ex-girlfriend who called ‘out-of-the-blue’ to see if I was still around. We lost track of time, chatting about the wild, […]
Posted in Hysterical, Humorous, and All Around Funny....0 Comments
Why do I hear 70’s porn music???
Posted on 03 December 2008.
Having my own personal soundtrack has always been a nerdy fantasy of mine. At last I can train to the theme of rocky, browse for clothing with an upbeat jingle, and then pound bearded clam to some old school Motley Crue. This geeky creation lets you do it all via a glory emanating speaker placed […]
Posted in Stuff Men Buy0 Comments
Random Shenanigans
