Featured Stories
Death by Ketchup!!! Denise Milani:  Boobs Kate Beckinsale: She Megan Fox is Going Scarlett Johansson Olga Kurylenko: Russia, you I am fat, hear me roar!
 

Death by Ketchup!!!

Ketchup will kill us all! As I sat there tearing into an outstanding hunk of steak between two pieces of buttered bread, I thought about Ketchup. It’s not that I didn’t have any for my deliciously tremendous potato wedges that came with my meal. I actually had an ample supply. And in between taking bites [...]

Denise Milani: Boobs…They’re What’s for Dinner.

We at Steak Army are fascinated with Denise Milani. We have dedicated an entire research team to the question of why average males turn into a whimpering fool when shown pictures of this outstanding female specimen. After countless hours of calculated, empirical experimentation that would make Harvard Medical School jealous, Steak Army finally has an [...]

Kate Beckinsale: She’s English AND Hot

I first saw Kate Beckinsale in the movie “Underworld.”  She wore tight black leather and killed werewolves for a living by slicing their heads in half at the mouth. For three months after its release, I wore a werewolf costume at home hoping she would break down the door in all of her attractive glory. [...]

Megan Fox is…Foxy

There was this movie called “Transformers.”  It stars the incredibly hot bodied Megan Fox.  I honeslty couldn’t tell you anything else about this damn movie except that it starred some other people and featured a yellow car at some point.  I’ve seen this flick three times and still have no clue what the plot is.  [...]

Going “Commando”

I recently visited the local supermarket to pick up a few required ingredients for that night’s dinner. I normally bypass the produce section as my body is allergic to all fruits and vegetables. I am lucky to have a body that performs best when fueled purely with the flesh of animals. This particular market required [...]

Scarlett Johansson …Yummy!

There are a lot of gorgeous women in Hollywood. But Scarlett has a fantastic girl next door look that will leave you speechless and naked on the corner because you blindly gave her everything you own. Yes I think she is that hot. Unfortunately she stars in the just released movie “The Spirit” which is [...]

Olga Kurylenko: Russia, you’ve gone and done good.

Olga Kurylenko was in the movie “Hitman.” I instantly decided that a trip to Russia was in order based on the fantasy that every girl there was in some way from the same spectacular gene pool. Of course these plans fell to the wayside due to the economic turmoil that followed. These are the, “I’m [...]

I am fat, hear me roar!

As I drove by the gym the other day, of which I am a proud member, I realized that this country is obsessed with being in shape. I also realized by the amount of fat walking on the sidewalk that we are also the most out of shape donkeys in the world. Now I say [...]

The NFL: the beast of American sports.

22 December 2008

The reason why the NFL is the most popular sport was made perfectly clear this past weekend. Where do we begin? How about with the San Diego Chargers who were left for dead in week 13 when they sat with a 5-8 record while the division leading Broncos (8-5) needed a single win to clinch [...]

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Posted in Modern Day Gladiatorial Combat0 Comments

The only way to make erectile dysfunction funny!

22 December 2008

Words cannot describe how glad I am that there are others like me…watch the video!

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Posted in Featured Videos, Hysterical, Humorous, and All Around Funny....0 Comments

Kenneth Darby gets knocked the fuck out!

20 December 2008

St. Louis Ram’s running back Kenneth Darby gets floored by NFL referee Garth DeFelice. What in the hell is going on this weekend and why isn’t this guy playing ball?

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Posted in Featured Videos, Modern Day Gladiatorial Combat0 Comments

Mortgages, loans, and a boot in your ass.

17 December 2008

The financial nightmare that is currently hammering the world has been happening for quite some time now. Plenty of average Americans still have no clue about the hows and whys of this economic meltdown that is literally putting the “smackdown” on seemingly invincible mega companies. This little video has been out for quite a while [...]

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Posted in Featured Videos, The Attempt to Pay for Food and Shelter while Drinking and Paying for Sex3 Comments

Dude….where’s my manhood?

16 December 2008

This is one of those videos where I desperately try to empathize with the authors. Why? Because it so goddamn embarrassing and I am in a fit of horror that anyone would do such a pathetic thing. Okay…so I was fifteen once. Maybe I practiced certain sexual maneuvers in the mirror. Maybe I had some [...]

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Posted in Featured Videos, Hysterical, Humorous, and All Around Funny....2 Comments

President Bush attacked by shoes of mass destruction!

14 December 2008

The President of the United States and his family take a lot of abuse from the people. They are constantly under the scrutiny of educated citizens while congress tries to finagle whatever they can out of their beloved leader. Talk show hosts lay into them with fervor hoping to boost rating by some funny but [...]

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Posted in Featured Videos, The Life and Times as a Citizen of this World1 Comment

Reanimation!

12 December 2008

In the current issue of Esquire, the scientific method of “Gorking” has reached clinical trial stages. “Gorking” is what, you ask? Is this another trendy sexual position that I can perform on the next unlucky lady you meet a la the “pile driver” or a “Rwandan Rodeo?” Unfortunately it’s not….unless killing the girl and then [...]

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Posted in The Life and Times as a Citizen of this World0 Comments

Anarchists, prepare to have your balls squashed.

12 December 2008

Apparently the U.S. government is expecting something very bad to happen by the year 2011. And because the government is expecting something bad to happen, I’m expecting something bad to happen. Because I am now broke from countless nights of strip clubs and coke whoring, I am in a state of denial. After trying to [...]

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Posted in The Life and Times as a Citizen of this World0 Comments

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