Featured Stories
Death by Ketchup!!! Denise Milani:  Boobs Kate Beckinsale: She Megan Fox is Going Scarlett Johansson Olga Kurylenko: Russia, you I am fat, hear me roar!
 

Death by Ketchup!!!

Ketchup will kill us all! As I sat there tearing into an outstanding hunk of steak between two pieces of buttered bread, I thought about Ketchup. It’s not that I didn’t have any for my deliciously tremendous potato wedges that came with my meal. I actually had an ample supply. And in between taking bites [...]

Denise Milani: Boobs…They’re What’s for Dinner.

We at Steak Army are fascinated with Denise Milani. We have dedicated an entire research team to the question of why average males turn into a whimpering fool when shown pictures of this outstanding female specimen. After countless hours of calculated, empirical experimentation that would make Harvard Medical School jealous, Steak Army finally has an [...]

Kate Beckinsale: She’s English AND Hot

I first saw Kate Beckinsale in the movie “Underworld.”  She wore tight black leather and killed werewolves for a living by slicing their heads in half at the mouth. For three months after its release, I wore a werewolf costume at home hoping she would break down the door in all of her attractive glory. [...]

Megan Fox is…Foxy

There was this movie called “Transformers.”  It stars the incredibly hot bodied Megan Fox.  I honeslty couldn’t tell you anything else about this damn movie except that it starred some other people and featured a yellow car at some point.  I’ve seen this flick three times and still have no clue what the plot is.  [...]

Going “Commando”

I recently visited the local supermarket to pick up a few required ingredients for that night’s dinner. I normally bypass the produce section as my body is allergic to all fruits and vegetables. I am lucky to have a body that performs best when fueled purely with the flesh of animals. This particular market required [...]

Scarlett Johansson …Yummy!

There are a lot of gorgeous women in Hollywood. But Scarlett has a fantastic girl next door look that will leave you speechless and naked on the corner because you blindly gave her everything you own. Yes I think she is that hot. Unfortunately she stars in the just released movie “The Spirit” which is [...]

Olga Kurylenko: Russia, you’ve gone and done good.

Olga Kurylenko was in the movie “Hitman.” I instantly decided that a trip to Russia was in order based on the fantasy that every girl there was in some way from the same spectacular gene pool. Of course these plans fell to the wayside due to the economic turmoil that followed. These are the, “I’m [...]

I am fat, hear me roar!

As I drove by the gym the other day, of which I am a proud member, I realized that this country is obsessed with being in shape. I also realized by the amount of fat walking on the sidewalk that we are also the most out of shape donkeys in the world. Now I say [...]

Bullet Impacts Soothe the Soul

10 December 2010

When a man needs to relax, nothing does the trick better than watching bullets of various calibers impact in slow motion. Thank you, Werner Mehl, for the virtual massage. ***Actually, sex will do a better job. But when bumping uglies is not an option, this will have to do.

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Tom Cruise Grew A Pair!

26 November 2010

We recently saw this image circulating the great wide web of misinformation, nude girls, and madness. We never thought much of Tom Cruise. His movies are at best mediocre. And the dude is certifiably insane almost killing Oprah with his antics (not necessarily a bad thing). But damn, this takes balls…huge balls…the kind that make [...]

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Posted in Hysterical, Humorous, and All Around Funny....1 Comment

Kids Need Close Quarters Battle Skills Too…

24 November 2010

This is an older post from DontEvenReply.com. What do we love about this website? The guy is a complete a**hole to people who post classified ads…but in a funny, sincere way of course. The following are classic examples showcasing his prior “military experience.” Check out his site. Operation: Soccer Escort Original ad: I am in [...]

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Posted in Hysterical, Humorous, and All Around Funny....1 Comment

TSA = Free Heavy Petting

20 November 2010

Has it been a while since you felt a woman’s touch? Or a man’s touch for that matter? Would you like to get groped and felt up without paying for dinner and a movie? If the mood is right, maybe score a cavity search by the romantic glow of a mag light? If you answered [...]

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Posted in The Life and Times as a Citizen of this World0 Comments

Mighty Small Firepower!

15 May 2010

This is one of those videos on youtube that really makes you wonder about human ingenuity. When most people think about miniature anything, thoughts of tiny ponies, unicorns, or even model cars usually come to mind. The following video displays the exact opposite of the previous gayness just mentioned… with great deadly genius I might [...]

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Russians and Pirates Don’t Mix

08 May 2010

Russians are a hard people. They wrestle bears. Drink vodka like water. And sometimes, during periods of political rhetoric after drinking vodka and wrestling bears, they have an urge to take back Alaska and point a couple more missiles toward Europe. Recent years have seen an increase in Somali pirate activity and Russia’s response bodes [...]

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I’m Dead. What about my Facebook?

01 April 2010

Imagine this hypothetical situation…… You are on Facebook uploading random pictures from the 3rd annual drinking tournament dubbed “The Widow Maker” by your nefarious work buddies. Unfortunately, you came in last place and vomited on your friend’s fiancée, her younger sister, and her newly installed boobs. These types of antics are not new for you [...]

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Posted in Featured Videos, Hysterical, Humorous, and All Around Funny...., The Life and Times as a Citizen of this World0 Comments

Some women just need practice…

20 March 2010

Introducing the newest workout device for women. I’m pretty sure it was invented by a man to increase his woman’s upper body stamina….because he likes him some handy action. Ridiculous….Yes. Genious…Fuck YEAH!

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