David vs. Goliath: Super Bowl XLIII

I ‘m sure many Steelers fans counted on their team going to the Superbowl before the season even started. And with the best defense in the league who could really blame them. On the flip side, nobody in the universe thought the Cardinals would make it to the Super Bowl. I think the Arizona players themselves are in a state of shock.

So as we head into the big game with much anticipation, remember this: we will truly witness a David and Goliath like battle to the death. It isn’t because the Cardinals are an inferior team and lack the talent to gain the ultimate win. On the contrary, they are superior to the Steelers in many ways. Their biggest weakness is their history. They are fighting the past of a pathetic franchise. A franchise that has not won anything in 60 years. This provides for one of the shittiest lifelong records of not only the NFL, but of any sport worldwide. The Cardinals only claims to fame up to this point was their feature in the movie “Jerry Maguire.”

For the Arizona Cardinals, this game is a chance to erase this nightmare from their past. If they can win this game and stop the already five time Superbowl champions, they will have one of the biggest upsets in Super Bowl history.

The real reason I want this to happen is because I am a sick puppy and have a demented sense of humor. I have a gut feeling that if these guys pull out all the stops and actually claim victory in Super Bowl XLIII (43 for those lacking in Roman Numerology), their gun toting fans will celebrate by rioting in the streets and shooting every available pistol, rifle, and shotgun in the air causing all kinds of lawlessness and moral debauchery. This, sadly, will be more exciting to me than the actual game of football itself.

Arizona has more laws in favor of owning a gun than any other state in the U.S. I seriously doubt the efforts of anyone who thinks they can calm a whole city of drunken men and women who still sport mullets.

At the start of the Cardinal season, it seemed like they had twelve fans who were all related through incestual means. Now they have a city full of these clones ready and armed to celebrate. Arizona winning Super Bowl XLIII would be an outstanding encore to last year’s upset of all time when the Giants spanked the Patriots. As an American, who wouldn’t want to shoot a few thousand rounds in the air? I couldn’t think of anything better!

Be Sociable, Share!

Leave a Reply